Sexual harassment and assault

Sexual harassment includes when someone calls you names such as slag, sket or whore, talks about you in a sexual way that makes you feel uncomfortable (like commenting on your body), or spreads sexual rumours about you. This could be in person or online.

If someone grabs or touches you in a way you do not like, or you are forced to kiss someone or do something else sexual, this may be classed as sexual assault. If you are forced to have sex or someone has sex with you without your agreement, this is rape.

Sexual harassment is not fun, and can make you feel embarrassed and scared. It can be hard to speak out, but just laughing it off and hoping it goes away will not help, and it could get worse. It is not okay for someone to do this and you have a right to say no.

This could happen with your friends, at your school or college, or by someone you don’t know. It could even be your boyfriend or girlfriend who sexually harasses or assaults you – this is relationship abuse. 

Incidents involving touching and other physical threats (sexual assault) are criminal offences and can be reported to the police. Whatever you decide to do, it is important that you don’t try to deal with this on your own. Some things you can do are:

• Tell an adult you trust – this could be a teacher, a family member, your youth worker, social worker or support worker. It can be difficult to know how to have this conversation, so we have some tips on asking for help.
• If you have been sexually assaulted, think about reporting it to the police as soon as possible. If you are at immediate risk of getting hurt, call 999. Rape and sexual offences are serious crimes, and as a young victim of a serious crime the Victims’ Code explains the enhanced support you should receive from the police and other agencies.
• If you have been sexually assaulted and you are not sure if you want to report the crime to the police, you should think about going to a Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC). They can give you a confidential forensic and medical examination, and can keep the forensic results until you make up your mind whether to report to the police or not. You can find your nearest SARC in England on the NHS website, and search for a local SARC in Wales on the NHS 111 Wales website.
• If you are not happy about talking to the police or visiting your nearest SARC, you should still speak to a doctor or a nurse so that they can check that you are okay and give you any medical help.
• With a safe adult, you could develop a safety plan that would help you choose how best to keep yourself safe.
• Talk to your friends. A good friend will listen to you and may help you speak to an adult.

If you are worried about a friend, we have some tips on how you can start the conversation and get them the right help.

Are sex jokes just a bit of fun?

Lots of jokes are about sex, but when this makes you feel uncomfortable or becomes personal, it’s not okay or fun. People may try to make you feel embarrassed, or try to convince you that it’s your fault so you do not tell anyone. The best way of stopping this happening to you or others again is to say ‘no’ and tell someone you trust.

What if they didn’t touch me?

Children and young people can become victims of other types of sexual abuse, which might not include unwanted touching (sexual assault) or rape. If someone touches themselves in front of you or asks you to touch yourself in front of them, either in person or online, this can be sexual abuse. It could even include someone showing you pornography or sexual images, or asking you to pose in a sexual way. This can still be really frightening and it’s important to know that in law, this is a crime and will be taken seriously.

This happened a long time ago, is there anything I can do?

It’s never too late to get help. We can find the best person to support you, depending on what you decide you want to do. If you want to report the crime to the police, this is still a possibility. Even if you got support at the time, you can still get more support now, as there may be things that come up that still scare you or worry you.

Victim Support/You & Co – you can contact your nearest Victim Support office, call the 24/7 Supportline, contact us via live chat, or if you are 16 or older, you can create a My Support Space account. This is a free, safe and secure online space where you can work through interactive guides to help you move forward after crime.

Rape Crisis – information and support for women and girls who have been raped or experienced sexual violence: 0808 802 9999.

Childline – 24-hour support for young people, both on the phone and through online chats and message boards, on rape, sexual assault and a range of other issues: 0800 1111.

The Mix – information and support for under 25s on a whole range of issues, including rape and sexual assault as well as safe sexual relationships. Get confidential help by email, text, webchat or phone: 0808 808 4994.